OMG Bagels!

Dear Wednesday Chef: marry me. Adopt me. Take me in as your kitchen slave. In what manner can I laud and adore you for this wonder that you have brought into my life?

Ahem. Oh, hi there!

As you might recall, some time ago, I was discussing the merits of Chicago deep-dish pizza vs New York's thin crust. And, I admit, shamelessly poking fun at New Yorkers' quirky and intense pride. Yeah, sorry about that. I guess I'm still a little bitter from losing all my friends to that city (*shakes fist). So, to make amends, today I'm going to focus on one of NYC's great culinary accomplishments: bagels.

To tell the truth, I approached this with even more skepticism than I had the deep-dish. I simply wasn't convinced that you could actually make bagels in your home's kitchen. The chewy interior, the lightly-blistered crust, and don't you have to boil them for a while...? Sounds like something better left to industrial -- or at least specialized -- kitchens. Visions of disaster, of bloated, soppy dough loosely shaped into a torus, blossomed in my mind. It occurs to me that I must have once eaten such homemade "bagels" for the thoughts to be so vivid.

And then I found myself on The Wednesday Chef, a cooking blog by a New Yorker living in Berlin. Heh, a blog -- by an expat -- recommend -- by an expat -- to me (an ex-expat): expatriates FTW! That, plus the fact that she sounds like my sister in a good mood led me to take a liking to her recipes. And who could not take a liking to this: a recipe on how to make bagels from your own kitchen. I was caught when her initial skepticism mirrored my own, and then swept up in her rushed ebullience as the recipe culminated into The *Perfect* Bagels.

You don't believe it. I understand. *I* didn't believe it! Not even when I took their perfectly golden forms from the oven, nor when I cut through their crispy blistered skin, nor as I bit into their perfectly chewy interiors. I couldn't have made these! Impossible! Surely the kitchen gnomes must have surreptitiously replaced my dough with these god-touched bagels from heaven. And you know what? I don't care! As long as the gnomes do the same thing next weekend, when I'm making this recipe again. Twice. Maybe three times.

It's been a good morning.

I'm going to stop talking now, because you need to go make this right now.

Peter Reinhart's Bagels
as presented by Luisa Weiss, verbatim (yay plagiarism!) Makes 6 to 8 bagels

• 3 1/2 cups (1 pound) unbleached flour (bread or all-purpose)
• 3 teaspoons salt, divided
• 3/4 teaspoon instant yeast
• 1 tablespoon honey or barley malt syrup, if you've got it
• 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons water
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• Poppy or sesame seeds

By hand, mix the flour, 2 teaspoons salt, the yeast, honey and the water until the ingredients form a stiff, coarse ball of dough (about 3 minutes). If necessary, add a little more water. Let the dough rest 5 minutes.

Knead the dough on a lightly floured surface until the dough feels stiff yet supple, with a satiny, slightly tacky feel, 2 to 3 minutes. If the dough seems too soft or too tacky, sprinkle over just enough flour as needed.

Place the dough in a lightly oiled bowl, cover tightly with plastic wrap, and place it in the refrigerator for at least 1 hour and up to several hours. Keep in mind that the bagels must be shaped before proofing overnight.

When ready to shape the bagels, line a baking sheet with lightly greased parchment paper or a silicone baking mat.

Remove the dough from the refrigerator and divide it into 6 to 8 equal pieces. Form each piece into a loose, round ball by rolling it on a clean, dry work surface with a cupped hand; do not use any flour on the surface. If the dough slides around and won't ball up, wipe the work surface with a damp paper towel and try again - the slight amount of moisture will provide enough "bite" for the dough to form a ball. When each piece has been formed into a ball, you are ready to shape the bagels.

Using your hands and a fair amount of pressure, roll each dough ball into a "rope" 8 to 10 inches long. (Moisten the work surface with a damp paper towel, if necessary, to get the necessary bite or friction). Slightly taper the rope at the ends so that they are thinner than the middle. Place one end of the dough between your thumb and forefinger and wrap it around your hand until the ends overlap in your palm; they should overlap by about 2 inches. Squeeze the overlapping ends together and then press the joined ends into the work surface, rolling them back and forth a few times until they are completely sealed.

Remove the dough from your hand and squeeze as necessary to even out the thickness so that there is a 2-inch hole in the center. Place the bagel on the prepared sheet pan. Repeat with the other pieces. Lightly wipe the bagels with oil, cover with plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator overnight.

Remove the bagels from the refrigerator 90 minutes before you plan to bake them. Fill a large stockpot with 3 quarts of water (be sure the water is at least 4 inches deep), cover with a lid, and slowly bring the water to a boil. When it comes to a boil, add the remaining teaspoon of salt and 1 teaspoon of baking soda, reduce the heat and simmer with the lid on.

Thirty minutes before baking, heat the oven to 500 degrees.

Test the bagels by placing one in a bowl of cold water. If it sinks and doesn't float to the surface, return it to the sheet, wait 15 minutes and then test it again. When one bagel passes the float test, they are ready for the pot.

Gently lift each bagel and drop it into the simmering water. Add as many as will comfortably fit in the pot. After 1 minute, use a slotted spoon to flip each bagel over. Poach for an extra 30 seconds. Using the slotted spoon, remove each bagel and return it to the lined baking sheet. Continue until all the bagels have been poached. Generously sprinkle each bagel with a topping.

Place the baking sheet in the oven and reduce the heat to 450 degrees. Bake for 8 minutes and then rotate the sheet (if using two sheets, also switch their positions). Check the underside of the bagels. If they are getting too dark, place another sheet under the baking sheet. Bake until the bagels are golden brown, an additional 8 to 12 minutes. Remove from the oven and transfer the bagels to a rack for at least 30 minutes before serving.